"I tried surf-bathing once, subsequently, but made a failure of it. I got the board placed right, and at the right moment, too; but missed the connection myself. The board struck the shore in three-quarters of a second, without any cargo, and I struck the bottom about the same time, with a couple of barrels of water in me." -- Mark Twain, Roughing It, 1866

Had Mark Twain tried surfing in his one-time home of Mississippi instead of Hawaii, he would have been even more frustrated; in fact, he probably would never have gotten wet. While Texas, Alabama and Florida can all claim legitimate surf spots -- some of them getting quite good under the right conditions -- the neighboring Gulf Coast states of Mississippi and Louisiana are all but hopeless. (Maybe that’s why they’re so synonymous with drinking and gambling.) The problem isn’t with the Gulf. In fact, all of the area’s surfing snags flow from the Mississippi River, which spews quantities of silt and sediment into the Gulf, creating a wide, wave-draining delta that beats down all traces of swell before it can reach the coast.

Despite such bathymetrical blockades, Twain wasn’t the last Delta local. Mississippi and Louisiana have a few diehards -- surfers known more for their occasional sightings in Alabama or Texas than for supporting a scene of their own. However, while Mississippi and Louisiana don’t have any identifiable surf spots, rumors continue to circulate about mysto breaks on the Delta’s barrier islands. Considering the number of better options found among surrounding offshore sandspits, there could very well be an epic point or wedge that’s waiting for some adventurer to charter a boat and scour the waters Mentawai-style. Still, if you’re stuck in the Delta, the most direct and definite route to good surf would be to drive to one of the neighboring Gulf states or -- even better -- the nearest airport.

INTERVIEW WITH A LOCAL

DELTA BLUES
According to ESA Director and Alabama local Chuck Barnes, hard times flow from the rivermouth.

SWELL.COM: What’s up with there being no surf in Mississippi and Louisiana? Why just those two states?
CHUCK BARNES: Well, the Delta’s the problem there. But there are rumors about surf on some of the barrier islands, and they’ve got enough passes that there have to be some serious lefts and rights out there. You’d have to have a boat and put in even more time and effort and money and all that, but I think you could score. It would just be hard -- very hard.

Do a lot of those guys travel over to Alabama and Texas to surf?
We used to see them a lot more, so maybe they made the move to friendlier climes. They have a reason to go somewhere, at least more than we do in Alabama. There’s one guy, Brian, who shows up here regularly because he doesn’t have a boat. But I haven’t seen him around lately, either.

Maybe he found one of those mysto reef passes, huh?
Yeah. [Laughs.] I’ve heard good stories from some guys in New Orleans about spots way south out in the Delta. There’s supposed to be some jetty that’s a rocket-ship left. I’ve never surfed it, and I’ve only spoken to one guy, but I know it’s out there.

But for the money and effort, wouldn’t you be better off zipping to Costa Rica?
Bingo. You’ve got a good point there. But if you live there, it’s like, “It’s Wednesday afternoon, and by god, I’m going out.” And you’d fire up the old outboard motor and roll. It sounds crazy, but I can see it.